I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You pole danced in your parka.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize