can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
