OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
