it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
