Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Randomize
