I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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