i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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