shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
