He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
