I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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