i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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