i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
