Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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