i permit you to call me
well you can't waste a boner
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
