We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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