well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize