oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize