I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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