My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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