she was so not down for the gang bang
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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