So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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