sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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