I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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