Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
