yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
