Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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