I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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