Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
