We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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