the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
