so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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