I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
