dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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