How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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