great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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