I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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