He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
