i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
