I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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