I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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