And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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