saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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