are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize