I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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