wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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