Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
