my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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