wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
