Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
