Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
