Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
