Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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