did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
