I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
