Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
