Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
