the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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