She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
