i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
