Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
