My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
