i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
