You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
