Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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