dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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