Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
